Thursday, June 7, 2012
My "Baby" Is Growing Up
I am so proud of Princess... Within this year, alone, she has matured so much. She's stuck up for friends when other "friends" tried to pull her into their drama, she's been walking to & from school (not to mention venturing further when she's out & about; like at my studio or when out & about PDX with my mother), she stood her ground with her grandmother about some things that needed to be said (gaining her infamous guilt trips, but that is a story for another day... or not), and just yesterday, she stood up to her bio-dad. You see, he hasn't called her since Santamas, never delivered or sent the gifts he said he had for her, and every time the phone rings between 7p and 730p, she still says, "I'm not here" or "I don't want to talk to him." I used to kinda feel a little teeny bit sorry for him... but not anymore. With good reason, she doesn't want him, or any of his family, at her 6th grade graduation; she was finally able to tell him that herself. Originally, I got a message asking for some info about it, which I ignored because once they knew that she had a grad ceremony, my responsibility to give him information is done. It is up to him, and him alone, to do his research -- look on the school's website, check the FB Community Page (which his wife is part of, and where I'm sure she got her information that there *is* a ceremony), or here's a novel idea; CALL THE SCHOOL! Here's the "problem" with that one -- the wife is in complete control of his email... and his life. As the stepmother, she has ZERO rights. ONLY bio can call the school & get information. Allowing him to do so would, I can only assume, kill her. I told Princess last week that since he knows about it, he'll probably come... and probably bring not only his wife, her daughter, & their other daughters, but also his mom, and maybe even his grandmother. She said, "I don't want them there. Every time he's near me, I freak out. I keep thinking he'll try to take me again." While I understand her fear, at this point, the only thing she can do is tell him how she feels; I can't do it for her anymore. So, Wednesday, when she got home from school, she called him. She told him she didn't want him to come to her graduation. She told him being around him makes her uncomfortable; that she feels he's going to "take" her again every time he's near her. He, as usual, tried to convince her that it was *his* weekend and I was keeping her from him, but she didn't put up with that. She knows the truth; she knows that he was under court order to prove he didn't owe me all those court fees (and now, more with all the interest, since he hasn't paid a dime of it in 4 1/2 years), and that until he could, he had no parenting time. She knows he could have gone to jail for parental abduction (which kinda negates his claim of no wrongdoing, huh?), but *I* chose not press charges. She knows he, and he alone, is to blame for his choices... Anyway, long story short, I'm super-proud of Princess.