A few weeks ago, I got an email on my FB page from a man who used to date (if you can even call it that) my ex-best friend in 1992, had introduced my ex and I in 1993, and was my ex's "best friend". The first message was short; just telling me that my daughter has turned into a beautiful young lady (my profile is private, but my main photo is public; at that time, it was one of her & I) and wondering what we'd been up to. He had also included his cell number.
I literally sat on this for almost a week. I was wondering quite a few things; mainly: why, after 6 or 7 years, did he now decide he wanted to check in? I talked to my husband and my bff; trying to figure out if I even wanted to open this can of who-knows-what. BFF said, "Tread lightly." Ace said, "You need to figure this out for yourself, but whatever you decide, I support your decision."
Before I had decided how to respond, though, I got another email. This time, he asked if he had done something to upset me. I sent back a message. I gave him a quick family update, and stated that while I wasn't mad about anything, I had assumed years ago that he had chosen to stay friends with my ex and therefore, dropped me and Princess. I told him that I half-believed that he had some ulterior motive for trying to renew our friendship. I tentatively offered coffee near my workplace, knowing that was about 1/2 way between our homes.
I brought him to my office, and there, over mochas, we talked. We also cried. I got updates on his relationship, his boys, his job, his brief relapse, and more. He got updates on my marriage, my kids, my work, my home improvement, and more. An hour and a half is all I had (not long enough), as I had to work, but my hope is that he's sincere in his words & actions. I know he told my ex that he was meeting with me; my ex told him it wasn't going to change anything.
But, the goal is not to change things for my ex (that is his responsibility, alone); it is to change things for EE and me... So, I go into this rebuilding of an old friendship years older (and hopefully, wiser), with eyes open, and with hope.