Friday, March 2, 2012

Update on Squeeks

Ace has had, as of today, three weekends (one of which was a long weekend) withheld for, as we see it, no good reason. From the emails I've seen from Maleficent, if she has anything to say about it, we won't be getting any parenting time, ever.

She continues to heavily monitor Squeeks' phone, text, FB chat, email, etc messages/conversations. Even when Ace texts or calls her when she's supposedly "free to talk", her mother eventually drags the conversation out of her, and Ace gets another nasty email from her.

How, I wonder, did we go from "I can't deal with her anymore; I'm done; you take her." to "You're a sh*tty father; there are *some things* going on over there; you can't see her at all."? My guess: she's fallen completely off the sanity train.

At first, Ace wasn't going to do anything; just wait it out, chat with Squeeks via text or FB chat once or twice a week to make sure she's okay. He reminded her that her mother is in violation of the current p/t order, and has had these cycles in the past. He also reminded her that the option to move in with us is open at LEAST until she's out of high school.

Then, we got more *nastygrams* (as I like to call them), demanding he stop telling Squeeks "lies", they had "an agreement" (her idea of "an agreement" is the email she sent stating that Squeeks is no longer coming down for p/t due to looking for, and perhaps having, a job, plus driving lessons), and that if he's so sure she's "breaking the law" by withholding his parenting time, he needs to take her to court.

Here's the problem with that -- the court (unfortunately for those fathers who are fully involved in their kids' lives, even in the face of a split) still favors the mother. There are very few statutes in place to help non-custodial parents in these situations.

Admittedly, most non-custodial parents (in my experience) suck. Most of them have no idea what "in the best interest of the child" means. Ace, though, is different. I wouldn't have married him if he had little-to-no interest in his children. And, I find serious fault with the "justice" system that failed to see how valuable he could have been in their lives, and how her erratic behaviors were NOT in her children's best interests.

He went from full custody (when she abandoned them for 8 months while she "couch"-hopped), to 48%, to 30%, to less than 20%... and now, nothing for a month and a half. Possibly, nothing for the rest of Squeeks' childhood (she turns 18 in June, 2013). GamerBoy finally "got it" once he moved out; his mother is the one who kept Ace from him. Their relationship is not what it should be, but it's better than it was even 6 months ago.

Anyway, this past Tuesday evening, Ace (as required by court order; better safe than sorry) sent Maleficent his notice of summer parenting time dates. This nastygram was worse than the majority of recent ones; the gist being "You are not getting parenting time. You're never getting parenting time. Are you stupid?"

We've talked about the legalities, being as my situation is on "the other side" of things. But, the biggest difference here is this: Ace is, and always has been, an active, loving, encouraging, supportive (both financially & emotionally) parent. So, I have given my opinions about what he could do if he so chose.

Princess texted her yesterday; both girls said "I miss you" to each other. That got us thinking in an additional direction... Ace isn't the only one affected by all of this. Maleficent is not only keeping Squeeks from her father, she's also keeping her from her sister & I.

And, he decided, perhaps now is the time to put up a fight.

1 comment:

  1. I hope that it does come down to court, and of course you will be victorious.