Friday, January 22, 2016

Once Again... I Heart Karma

At what point does "adultery" become "his/her new relationship" and it's time to give up your emotional and legal attachments? I suppose there isn't a definitive answer; it's a choice we all have to make for ourselves. For me, it was within just a few months - from the day I realized MG was sleeping with the Wildebeest until the day I filed for divorce was less than three months. I went through some of those "Stages of Grief" you hear about a lot. In fact, I'm pretty sure I went through all of them... but I got to "acceptance" fairly quickly; probably faster than the average. Some people never get to that stage, and live their whole lives stuck in "anger", or even stage #1 - "denial".

It's one thing to try to get him back; keeping hope alive, for a little while anyway, is admirable. But, when you turn it all into a martyr complex, others start to wonder if you're completely delusional. Even worse? When you don't see that what is happening to you is EXACTLY what you did to someone else. When you were the mistress, it was "fine" because, as you saw it, you were "meant to be". But, now that he has another woman in his life, he's "cheating" on you? And, you're mad that his family is welcoming her? Why are you surprised? They did the same with you...

Refusing to get on with your own life, especially after so much time has passed & he *obviously* doesn't want you back, doesn't make you a "good wife" or even a "godly wife"; it makes you delusional. I *did* minor in psychology in college, so I do have quite a lot of education on the subject, and I'm fairly certain you have Delusional Disorder. The longer you live in your delusions, the harder it is to get out of them. You can lie to your friends, your family, even to yourself... but deep down, you know the truth is that he's not coming back. HE's moved on and has found happiness with someone else. I truly worry for you and your children... mostly your children, for you have brought this on yourself.

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