Thursday, November 8, 2012

I Have A Teenager

I've said it time and again... it's not my birthdays that make me feel old, it's hers. This year was no different, as far as that goes. However, this is the first year we didn't have some sort of party. Princess decided that, with our bathroom under construction (on hold at the moment), a sleepover wasn't a good idea... so she asked if I would mind taking her & a couple of her friends to a movie.

Monday of this past week, Ace & I went grocery shopping, and among necessities, grabbed steaks & asparagus for Princess' (requested) birthday dinner, which we ate on Tuesday. At this point, we had cards from some family members and a few packages.

Tuesday morning, a bunch of her friends had decorated her locker with cards, wrapping paper, ribbon, balloons, a big bow, and nice hand-written messages (awesome), but after 1st period, the Leadership kids took it down & put their own (boring one) up.

The girls got all upset & complained to Ms. M (the Leadership teacher). Apparently, the Leadership team wasn't supposed to tear down an existing one (they're only supposed to put something up if no one else did), so she was going to have a talk with them. She, of course, apologized, but it was too late at that point.

Anyway, I picked her up from school that afternoon, and we went back to the store for cake stuff. I also bought her some flowers to help make up for the balloons getting thrown away. We then made rainbow cupcakes, which turned out AWESOME!

She opened her gifts -- some cash/checks/college funds, neon clothing, Amazon gift card, brown fuzzy boots, and her favorite: her very own laptop -- then we set up her Facebook, which I promised she could have when she turned 13y. Now, for the record, she is only allowed to add people she truly knows AND LIKES; FB can be fun but it can also be problematic. I have full access to it and she runs everything she does past me.

Last week, I had posted (only half-joking), "I'm taking bets... Will **'s SD & the Wildebeest follow through with gifts for her birthday? Will they show up today or tomorrow... or next week... or never? If they do get her stuff, will any of it follow the guidelines I gave?" Many "close friends" (the only people who saw this status) put in their two cents. Most assumed there either wouldn't be gifts (oh, no... there are always birthday gifts; just not always Santamas gifts!) or they would be (a) late and (b) ill-fitting clothing.

On Wednesday, we found out... there was a gift bag on my porch. I have to be honest; it creeps me out knowing that they were here when no one else was. I am seriously considering a restraining order to keep them both away from my home, my work, Princess's school, me, & Princess. Next time, there could be a bomb in that bag...

So, I looked in it, to make sure it was safe, and brought it in the house. Then I texted the SD: "While I appreciate that you guys bought presents for M*******, please don't come over to my house again. In the future, gifts from you & your family can be mailed." I got: "Sorry but you stopped taking my calls so I had no way to communicate w her" in response. I said: "Mail is perfectly acceptable. And, I didn't stop taking your calls, M******* did."

Then, he got more irritating: "Yea sure she did. You had nothing to do with it right". I simply responded: "I'm not going to argue with you. Just don't show up to my house anymore." Having to get in the last word, he said: "Don't keep my kid from me anymore." At this point, I chose to ignore him. I find it so much easier these days to do that... and I know that it pisses him off when I do.

If he truly wanted to have parenting time again, he'd follow the court orders TO THE LETTER, but apparently, that's outside of his skill set... Five years after HE kidnapped our daughter, he's never apologized to her, and he still blames me for how she feels about him. Whatever. I know that someday, she will tell him face to face how she feels. He'll still blame me, but that's his problem, not mine.

Anyway, she opened the gifts in the car {they actually surprised me... a tee that fits, the rainboots I asked for in the correct (next up) size, a game from her Amazon list, a pair of mesh gloves (she has a long blue pair; these are a short black pair), a travel Truth or Dare game (an appropriate version), and her 7yo half-sister & 17yo step-sister wrote her nice notes.}, on our way to her first REAL massage appointment. Hallie at my salon offered to do a "teen" massage; 15m less time for $15 less than her one-hour fee.

After her massage, we went to Sushi Zen for dinner and Baskin Robbins for dessert... and today, she is getting a teen facial (from my esthetician/friend). She gave me a really squeezy hug this morning, and said, "This is the best birthday ever, mom. Thank you." THAT made it all worth it.

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