Saturday, September 24, 2011

It's A Matter Of Principle

Four, or maybe it was five, years ago, I was driving past the fairgrounds property in town and saw a HUGE banner on the side street building (it's an Armory building) that read something along the lines of "Huge Consignment/Resale Event -- Pass It On Sale" and the dates. So, that Saturday, I stopped by. I think I ended up buying a few things for different family members (my own kids included), and was pretty happy I got great deals (always the bargain shopper!).

Since then, it's moved a few times, but it's still in town. I've tried to hit it at least once per sale/season (they do two each year; once in the fall & once in the spring; now also available in a town about 2 hours south). Also since then, Princess' SM has gotten more & more involved each year. At first, we went at times/days when it would be less likely that she would be there, as Princess despises the woman. When that didn't work as planned, I went a couple times with friends (leaving Princess behind).

Sometimes I saw her; sometimes I didn't. Once, last year Fall, when Princess was with me, not only did we see her SM, but her bio was also there, as well as her younger half-sisters. MKG (the only one she really misses) was little miss chatty while I got checked out & paid for my items. When we left, though, Princess was shaking; visible upset. I asked what was wrong and she said, "I can't... mom... I can't do this anymore." That was the last time I shopped the sale.

Every time Princess is around her bio &/or her SM, she gets the shakes. I've had her in & out of counseling many times over the years, but since her bio refuses to come in, talk to her & the counselor, and actually work toward healing their relationship (apparently, it's "easier" to blame ME for the way Princess feels), it's no wonder she freaks out. She still thinks, after all these years (almost four, to be exact) that they will abduct her again if given half a chance. To be honest, I do too.

Princess' feelings are, of course, my main concern, but the other reason is about money. You see, my ex has NEVER willingly paid child support; ever. I'm not saying he hasn't paid it, but when I *do* get it, it's almost always garnished by the feds (from tax returns), the state (tax returns & unemployment pay), or whatever real job he happens to have at the time (wage garnishment). There have been a couple of small payments made while he was in the process of having it reduced last winter (jobless with an additional kid), but even though it's now $100/m instead of $288/m, he's still not paying... the arrears are just accruing at a slower rate.

As I understand, aside from being the "Sponsor Coordinator" for PIO, he is a stay-at-home dad for his two youngest. A noble choice, if you don't actually have financial responsibilities to take care of, such as CHILD SUPPORT, but that's another blog. If him staying home with the two younger children is really in the best interest of their household, perhaps his wife should step up and pay his child support with her income.

I don't know for sure if she has a "real" job, but I do know that she makes a pretty large chunk of money from the PIO sales, not to mention her c.s. for her own daughter (now 16yo). I also know she's been "promoted" and is the sale owner's 2nd in command. All that being said, I just cannot bring myself to spend MY money at a resale event where they are a huge part, when I'm not receiving any child support.

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