Difficult Conversations

How do you get across to someone that you don't want to have anything to do with them? Especially if that person was a very important person in your life for a long time? How do you explain that you no longer trust this person?

My princess is dealing with this issue with her biological father, as I am with my ex best friend. The odd/interesting thing is: both events that broke the relationships happened at roughly the same time; 4 years ago.

For the Princess, it was one dramatic event -- her father & stepmother abducted her from our doorstep. For me, it was multiple, seemingly-insignificant, events over the few years prior to our "break up". The end result, however, is the same: broken trust.

Princess is at the point now of wanting nothing to do with her bio. She doesn't want him to be part of her life; in any aspect. She doesn't want him at any school function, any sporting event, any kind of activity pertaining to her life at all. She doesn't even want to TALK to him. How sad for him... and, even sadder, he refuses to believe it; choosing to blame me for how she feels.

In my own situation with my ex-bff, I also want nothing to do with her. However, I share a friendship with her sister, her brother, her sister-in-law, and many mutual friends (including her baby #4's daddy). Such shared moments (like birthday parties, weddings, graduations, summer barbecues, etc) require me to be civil. That, for me, is not a problem. The problem comes from her continued pushing to still be friends.

So, here we are; mom & daughter in completely different but similar situations. Lucky for me, I'm a strong person; I can handle it all. Lucky for her, she's got me as a mom.