I was going to call this "Words Of Wisdom", but the title I chose is actually more accurate.
My ex-husband & I met in 1993. I was 19, and he was a few months from his 16th birthday. He exuded maturity, and I found out later, he was the epitome of "man of the house" for his mother. To me, this was a good sign; it said to me that he was a family man, willing to work hard for those he loved.
In the five years between meeting and marriage, we went through some interesting things. We broke up and dated other people, we got back together, we both moved to California and then back to Oregon, and we fought like the outcome meant something to us... because it did. Well, apparently it did, but only to me; I discovered later that, to him, our relationship meant nothing.
A few months after we married, we decided to try for another child (our first was miscarried) and got pregnant pretty quickly (contrary to what some believe, my Princess was a planned pregnancy). She was born in November 1999. In January 2000, we started looking for a house (with financial assistance from my mother, who insisted that HER GRANDCHILD was not going to be raised in an apartment! lol). In February, we moved, and one year later, we were done. The "man of the house" had been replaced by a cheater and a liar who cared only about his own needs & wants.
He and the woman who was dating his best friend (our roommate at the time) were a couple, now. I won't go into details about that time, but I will tell you that having someone pretend to be your friend while they are sleeping with your significant other is one of the lowest things you can do to someone. I don't care who "came on" to whom, and all these years later, none of that matters. What *does* matter, to me and many others who've been in situations like this, is that I now have proof that Karma is REAL.
Through my sources, I have found out that not only are they no longer a couple, but that he pulled much of the same crap on her that he pulled on me. Some of the verbiage she sent me over the years (about what a horrible wife I was, how he never loved me, how I was ugly, etc) has recently been used by him toward her. Since last year's holiday season, he & she have had some "marital issues". Apparently, she moved out & in with a friend of hers for a while while they got counseling. Counseling didn't work, so some months later, they separated and are probably headed for divorce. I'm actually taking (mental) bets as to who files first...
I feel like the "right" thing would be to feel sorry for her... and I do, to a point, but it's hard to feel badly for someone who lied, cheated, and connived... and helped someone else do the same. It's hard to feel badly for someone who helped their SO kidnap his own daughter. It's hard to feel badly for someone who chooses to drown their sorrows in alcohol (to excess, from what I hear). It's hard to feel badly for someone who not only encouraged, but assisted, their SO in avoiding paying court-ordered financial judgments (both child support and attorney fees), by hiding all his money (earned under the table) in her own bank accounts...
Mostly, I only feel sorry for their two young daughters. Those girls are innocents caught in the middle, just as my daughter was. It is my genuine hope that those girls don't end up screwed out of what is their right; parents who truly understand what "In The Best Interest Of The Child" means... and lives up to it. Those children... EVERY CHILD... deserves that. Just because my daughter didn't get it from her biological father doesn't mean his other two don't have that right.