Monday, July 21, 2014

Bumps, Bruises, & Broken Bones -- One Year Later

It has been exactly one year since Ace & I went down on our bike. Ace had to have surgery, which left a metal plate & steel screws in his ankle - permanently. Both of us went through months of physical & occupational therapy. Both of us dealt with anger. Ace still has guilt; thinking he could have/should have done something differently. Interestingly, I think it's brought us closer. We've dealt with a lot of emotionally draining things from outside forces (exes, mostly) for a great deal of our relationship, but this was different. We could have died.

On the physical front -- I still have a 2" X 3" spot over my right arm's scar (just below my elbow) that is numb. It's been determined that I probably will never regain feeling there. I have a noticeable loss of grip strength in my right hand. I also get the shakes occasionally, as well as twinges & what feels like a mild electrical charge, which causes me to drop things. When this happens at work, I have to stop & massage the area, causing me to have slower service times (my clients are fully understanding). Sometimes, my right arm goes numb, also causing me to drop things -- also a problem at work.
Ace now feels weather/pressure changes in his ankle. He has a different gait than he had before. His hip hurts fairly constantly, causing him to need a pillow between his legs when he sleeps. His shoulder/neck muscles are worse than ever, and migraines ensue. Very few (like: 2) things work to rid himself of them... one is so much of a muscle relaxer that he is forced to sleep. Not easy to be productive when that happens.

On the emotional/psychological front -- I am more apprehensive when he rides alone; asking that he give me a general idea of where he's going, and that he leave his phone on (in case the need for tracking arises). I am slightly more nervous on the back than I was before the accident.
Ace partially blames himself for the accident. Again, "could have/ would have/ should have" messes with your psyche. For a long time after the accident, he didn't want me on the bike with him. I allowed him time to get re-used to it on his own, but after a few months, told him it wasn't his decision. I don't blame him for causing the accident or either of our maladies, but I will not have him telling me that I can't get back on his bike. That had to be my decision, and my decision alone.

On the financial front -- his case is done; we're just waiting for the final accounting to be drafted, and his check to be issued by his attorney. My case just started negotiations. I will not reveal how much we're each getting, but I will tell you... it's not by any means a windfall, and it sure as hell isn't worth what we had to go through to get it.

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