Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day & Being A Dad

Some of my single-mom friends try to take today as their day, too... but that, I think, is unfair. I'm not one for gender roles, but in some cases (like Father's Day vs Mother's Day), they totally apply. You are a single mom, not a dad. By definition, dads are MEN, and moms are WOMEN. I love you, I respect you... hell, I WAS you for a short time. And, you totally deserve credit, but on the correct gender-specific holiday. Today, moms, is not that day!

My friend, Holly, said it so well -- "Some men make a careless genetic deposit and choose to be nothing more; these are cowards and losers and deserve a pox on their privates. Some men make a genetic deposit and stick around assuming they are fathers because they provide a roof and nothing more; these will come to realize that "Cat's in the Cradle" is a true story. Some men assume being a father entitles them to abuse those in their care; these men deserve a special spot in hell where the things they dished out are dealt back 100 times worse. Then there are real men who are Dads and give their children more than genes or a roof; they give unconditional love, emotional support, guidance, confidence, and so much more, & to these men I say Happy Dad's Day and may your day bring you all the joy and love you deserve as a Dad. xo"

Growing up, I had a father (still do) who was there... every day, every night, every bit of homework, every parent/teacher meeting, every recital, every project, every birthday & other holidays, every tear, every smile, every boyfriend, and so much more. From day one through today, and for the rest of my life, he will be part of me, part of who I am, part of how I parent, part of how I love, and part of how I live.

I thought my first husband was that man, but alas, he was not. He pretended very well for five years... either that, or he drastically changed, and not for the better. Now, *I* have a daughter who has a biological father (a combo of number 2 & number 3 in that list Holly posted, above), and a REAL DAD (the last in that list; she calls him Papa). Her bf gave her some genes, and a realization that just because you share blood doesn't mean you are a dad. REAL DADS are those who care, who love, who take care of, who put their children's needs above their own. So, today, I publicly thank both my own father and my Princess' (& Squeeks' & Gamerboy's) PAPA for being the dads every man should be.

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