Ramblings of life's goings-on as my husband and I raise our one remaining child, move ahead in our careers, deal with life's tragedies & happy times, and continue to love & grow together... No imaginary deity needed.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Stalkers...
"They" make me laugh. "They" will swear 'til they're blue in the face that they don't care about you or what you're doing (what's that old saying about protesting too much?), but they still read & view EVERYTHING you do online (well, publicly, anyway); sometimes even commenting somewhere or to someone. I could block "them" or make more things private, but why? If "they" want to cyberstalk me, I say "Go ahead; I have nothing to hide."
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Knocked Off
Since this is a public blog, and nothing's set in stone, yet... this is going to be short. I will not go into detail, but let's start by saying that SOMEone has been knocked off her pedestal... Let's then say, "What the EFF is WRONG with..." her? She did this to them and to herself, and she should be ASHAMED! I will never abandon my kids and anyone who would doesn't deserve to have them! I suppose time will tell what kind of effect this will have on them (you KNOW there's GOING to be "an effect"); the hope is that they can work through it and still come out on top.
(Side note -- sorry, had to vent somewhere... if you're curious, leave me a comment, and I'll send you a PM.)
(Side note -- sorry, had to vent somewhere... if you're curious, leave me a comment, and I'll send you a PM.)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Teaching Moments
A few weeks ago, Princess & I were at one of the neighborhood schools, and I noticed a sign on the gym door -- "Parents are responsible for there own children." Obviously (well, obviously to me, anyway), "there" should have been "their". I asked my daughter to read the sign, which she did. I then asked her if she noticed anything weird. She said, "there is spelled wrong; it should be t-h-e-i-r." That's right. Another parent overheard me, and quietly applauded my efforts to use an everyday situation to teach my daughter something.
Maybe it's just my own ability to perfectly spell just about anything, but common mistakes like this one irritate the crap out of me. I find them everywhere. Do people just not care? Do they really think that spelling & grammar are not important? Do they have a good job? Did the person or persons doing the hiring even bother to read their applications?
To me, two of the worst offenders are: those in a school or teaching environment, and those in the journalism field. It's one thing to misspell some obscure word... but most of what I see is just pure laziness.
Since Princess was just starting learning her letters, I have taught her how to spell properly. Grammar came soon after. Granted, I don't have an English degree; nor have I ever been a newspaper editor or a writer of any sort (unless you count blogs). You can view me as a grammar Nazi, if you want, but arguing with me doesn't make you less wrong.
As a courtesy, here are some common spelling errors and the correct way to use these words:
(1) There - location. Their - a possessive pronoun, as in "their house". They're - shortened version of "they are".
(2) Your - a possessive pronoun, as in "your house". You're - shortened version of "you are".
(3) To - in the direction of, or toward. Too -- also, or in addition. Two -- the number 2.
There are, of course, MANY more (for reference, if you find yourself commonly using the wrong version of a word, save this site to your Favorites: http://www.grammarbook.com/english_rules.asp and scroll down to "Commonly Confused Words" -- very helpful).
My point, though, is that there are many teachable moments in life. NO conversation should ever be a one-time conversation. Whether it be something as simple as spelling & grammar, or something a lot more serious (like sex and drugs), talk to your kids, talk to them often, and try to practice what you preach!
Maybe it's just my own ability to perfectly spell just about anything, but common mistakes like this one irritate the crap out of me. I find them everywhere. Do people just not care? Do they really think that spelling & grammar are not important? Do they have a good job? Did the person or persons doing the hiring even bother to read their applications?
To me, two of the worst offenders are: those in a school or teaching environment, and those in the journalism field. It's one thing to misspell some obscure word... but most of what I see is just pure laziness.
Since Princess was just starting learning her letters, I have taught her how to spell properly. Grammar came soon after. Granted, I don't have an English degree; nor have I ever been a newspaper editor or a writer of any sort (unless you count blogs). You can view me as a grammar Nazi, if you want, but arguing with me doesn't make you less wrong.
As a courtesy, here are some common spelling errors and the correct way to use these words:
(1) There - location. Their - a possessive pronoun, as in "their house". They're - shortened version of "they are".
(2) Your - a possessive pronoun, as in "your house". You're - shortened version of "you are".
(3) To - in the direction of, or toward. Too -- also, or in addition. Two -- the number 2.
There are, of course, MANY more (for reference, if you find yourself commonly using the wrong version of a word, save this site to your Favorites: http://www.grammarbook.com/english_rules.asp and scroll down to "Commonly Confused Words" -- very helpful).
My point, though, is that there are many teachable moments in life. NO conversation should ever be a one-time conversation. Whether it be something as simple as spelling & grammar, or something a lot more serious (like sex and drugs), talk to your kids, talk to them often, and try to practice what you preach!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
An Old Friend
A few weeks ago, I got an email on my FB page from a man who used to date (if you can even call it that) my ex-best friend in 1992, had introduced my ex and I in 1993, and was my ex's "best friend". The first message was short; just telling me that my daughter has turned into a beautiful young lady (my profile is private, but my main photo is public; at that time, it was one of her & I) and wondering what we'd been up to. He had also included his cell number.
I literally sat on this for almost a week. I was wondering quite a few things; mainly: why, after 6 or 7 years, did he now decide he wanted to check in? I talked to my husband and my bff; trying to figure out if I even wanted to open this can of who-knows-what. BFF said, "Tread lightly." Ace said, "You need to figure this out for yourself, but whatever you decide, I support your decision."
Before I had decided how to respond, though, I got another email. This time, he asked if he had done something to upset me. I sent back a message. I gave him a quick family update, and stated that while I wasn't mad about anything, I had assumed years ago that he had chosen to stay friends with my ex and therefore, dropped me and Princess. I told him that I half-believed that he had some ulterior motive for trying to renew our friendship. I tentatively offered coffee near my workplace, knowing that was about 1/2 way between our homes.
I brought him to my office, and there, over mochas, we talked. We also cried. I got updates on his relationship, his boys, his job, his brief relapse, and more. He got updates on my marriage, my kids, my work, my home improvement, and more. An hour and a half is all I had (not long enough), as I had to work, but my hope is that he's sincere in his words & actions. I know he told my ex that he was meeting with me; my ex told him it wasn't going to change anything.
But, the goal is not to change things for my ex (that is his responsibility, alone); it is to change things for EE and me... So, I go into this rebuilding of an old friendship years older (and hopefully, wiser), with eyes open, and with hope.
I literally sat on this for almost a week. I was wondering quite a few things; mainly: why, after 6 or 7 years, did he now decide he wanted to check in? I talked to my husband and my bff; trying to figure out if I even wanted to open this can of who-knows-what. BFF said, "Tread lightly." Ace said, "You need to figure this out for yourself, but whatever you decide, I support your decision."
Before I had decided how to respond, though, I got another email. This time, he asked if he had done something to upset me. I sent back a message. I gave him a quick family update, and stated that while I wasn't mad about anything, I had assumed years ago that he had chosen to stay friends with my ex and therefore, dropped me and Princess. I told him that I half-believed that he had some ulterior motive for trying to renew our friendship. I tentatively offered coffee near my workplace, knowing that was about 1/2 way between our homes.
I brought him to my office, and there, over mochas, we talked. We also cried. I got updates on his relationship, his boys, his job, his brief relapse, and more. He got updates on my marriage, my kids, my work, my home improvement, and more. An hour and a half is all I had (not long enough), as I had to work, but my hope is that he's sincere in his words & actions. I know he told my ex that he was meeting with me; my ex told him it wasn't going to change anything.
But, the goal is not to change things for my ex (that is his responsibility, alone); it is to change things for EE and me... So, I go into this rebuilding of an old friendship years older (and hopefully, wiser), with eyes open, and with hope.
Friday, December 17, 2010
You Brought It On Yourself
I know you guys "love" this stuff, so here's a little bio-dad and stepmom update:
Ok, so Tuesday the 7th, about 430p, this email came to me: "Just wondering if school photos were in yet, which reminded me that I have yet to receive a Halloween photo or Santa photo from you yet this year, which you had previously promised to send. Also, remind me again what size M******* wears, she said 14/16 but apparently that was incorrect. Any other ideas on what she might like for Christmas?- M***"
I responded with, "1. Your school photos, et al, were sent in today's mail. 2. She & I both told you she wears a 10 (although she's now getting into a 12) in pants, and a 16 in shirts. She does NOT like tights nor long-sleeved shirts, and loves peace symbols & (still) girly skulls. She no longer likes pink unless it's dark/hot pink; preferring blue. However, she has more than enough clothing & shoes as it is... The only thing on her wish list that we are not already giving her is a DQ Blizzard Maker and a peace-symbol Snuggie. She also loves books & music, so an Amazon gift card would be nice, as then she can buy just the songs she wants (so she can download them onto her MP3 player)."
He then called her that night (after close to three weeks without a peep), and she had to tell him about her concert on Thursday (his response: "Oh, good. Now I can come!"). She also let it slip that she has a wish list, and he asked her to have me send it to him. I told her no; I had already sent him a small list, and I was pretty sure he'd be irritated by the fact that her wish list is under one of her nicknames with my married last name. She agreed.
Sometime in between the email I got and the one I sent, SM changed their joint profile to read, "We love sharing the reason for the season,with our friends and family.God teaches us True Love &without knowing his love,you cannot truly know or give love. Learn about God's love this year, learn how to love others & start living a meaningful life!" <<-- aimed at my non-believer ways, no doubt (hypocrite, much?).
Wednesday morning, I changed my profile to read, "I find it amusing to be cyber-lectured on religion by the woman who was my ex's mistress. Religious agendas have no place in our lives. Giving is the reason for the season. Start paying down debts owed, & start living a meaningful life!"
About 2 minutes later, I got another email from her, "Thank you for the pictures, we received them today, however there were no pictures of Halloween or Santa , when will you be sending them. Additionally, I would like to remind you that M*******'s last name is G*******, not K****, please adjust all registrations to reflect her legal given name. Thank you- M***"
You're going to love my response... "Until she is 18, I would need M***'s written permission to legally change her name; I obviously have not done so. If she chooses to use K****, or G*******-K****, in any non-legal avenue, that choice is hers to make." All of this, of course, forwarded or BCC'd to my attorney.
Thursday was her Winter Concert (the one she told him about Tuesday night?)... guess who didn't show? Yeah... Friday morning, I was informed that their joint profile is gone. As in "this profile does not exist". At that point, I didn't know if she had deleted it or just made it private; I didn't find out for sure until sent another email (after sending yahoo to yahoo, there's a screen that shows all the profile updates of those you sent the email to).
Then, Friday afternoon, she sent my attorney an email (signed with BD's name, of course)... You're gonna love this: "M***- I am sure you can see how it is clearly unlawful to change my daughters name in any legal or non-legal manner and as such such not be encouraged, but in fact prohibited in every manner by your client. I have been made aware of several instances where D*** is referring to M******* (our daughter) as M******* (or C*****) K****. Please advise her to immediately change all references, registrations, and the like to reflect M*******'s legal name; M******* G*******.This is to include all sports and extracurricular activity registrations. As a reminder, your client should of course be notifying me of all such registrations within 30 days of doing so, and failure to do so is a violation of our parenting time order. Thank you, M****** G*******"
M*** then forwarded it to me, along with: "How do you want me to respond?..." Basically telling me I was right; she can be known by any name she wants, but all legal avenues must have her real name. Um, duh? Oh, and really??? "...a violation of our parenting time order."??!!? What about not paying child support? What about not paying any of the attorney fees? What about not paying your 1/2 of her medical bills? Take me to court... go ahead! I'd love to see the judge bring down the gauntlet on him.
My response to M*** was: "...Her school, her afterschool activities, her sports, and the like are always under "M******* G*******"; always have been, probably always will be. I don't think this warrants any response except, perhaps, that the only existing order regarding this matter only states I cannot change her LEGAL/GIVEN name. I clearly have not done that. -d-"
Then, yesterday morning, I had to send an email to BD about Princess doing basketball. Even though she made "their joint profile" unavailable to the public, as soon as I sent the FYI email, I saw her update, "Some people really are idiots! Christ is the reason for the seaon, thats why its called Christmas. But if giving is the reason, then why not give your daughter her father. You know nothing of giving, only TAKING!"
Stupid Christians are the worst kind... I'm sure you, my readers/friends, know the truth; Jesus was not born in December (I think the current belief is that he was born in the spring). "Christmas" was originally a pagan holiday, celebrating the rebirth of the sun ("yule" or "winter solstice"), and the Christians STOLE it. Regardless, I've said it before and I'll say it again: continually playing the victim will not get you the results you want.
Ok, so Tuesday the 7th, about 430p, this email came to me: "Just wondering if school photos were in yet, which reminded me that I have yet to receive a Halloween photo or Santa photo from you yet this year, which you had previously promised to send. Also, remind me again what size M******* wears, she said 14/16 but apparently that was incorrect. Any other ideas on what she might like for Christmas?- M***"
I responded with, "1. Your school photos, et al, were sent in today's mail. 2. She & I both told you she wears a 10 (although she's now getting into a 12) in pants, and a 16 in shirts. She does NOT like tights nor long-sleeved shirts, and loves peace symbols & (still) girly skulls. She no longer likes pink unless it's dark/hot pink; preferring blue. However, she has more than enough clothing & shoes as it is... The only thing on her wish list that we are not already giving her is a DQ Blizzard Maker and a peace-symbol Snuggie. She also loves books & music, so an Amazon gift card would be nice, as then she can buy just the songs she wants (so she can download them onto her MP3 player)."
He then called her that night (after close to three weeks without a peep), and she had to tell him about her concert on Thursday (his response: "Oh, good. Now I can come!"). She also let it slip that she has a wish list, and he asked her to have me send it to him. I told her no; I had already sent him a small list, and I was pretty sure he'd be irritated by the fact that her wish list is under one of her nicknames with my married last name. She agreed.
Sometime in between the email I got and the one I sent, SM changed their joint profile to read, "We love sharing the reason for the season,with our friends and family.God teaches us True Love &without knowing his love,you cannot truly know or give love. Learn about God's love this year, learn how to love others & start living a meaningful life!" <<-- aimed at my non-believer ways, no doubt (hypocrite, much?).
Wednesday morning, I changed my profile to read, "I find it amusing to be cyber-lectured on religion by the woman who was my ex's mistress. Religious agendas have no place in our lives. Giving is the reason for the season. Start paying down debts owed, & start living a meaningful life!"
About 2 minutes later, I got another email from her, "Thank you for the pictures, we received them today, however there were no pictures of Halloween or Santa , when will you be sending them. Additionally, I would like to remind you that M*******'s last name is G*******, not K****, please adjust all registrations to reflect her legal given name. Thank you- M***"
You're going to love my response... "Until she is 18, I would need M***'s written permission to legally change her name; I obviously have not done so. If she chooses to use K****, or G*******-K****, in any non-legal avenue, that choice is hers to make." All of this, of course, forwarded or BCC'd to my attorney.
Thursday was her Winter Concert (the one she told him about Tuesday night?)... guess who didn't show? Yeah... Friday morning, I was informed that their joint profile is gone. As in "this profile does not exist". At that point, I didn't know if she had deleted it or just made it private; I didn't find out for sure until sent another email (after sending yahoo to yahoo, there's a screen that shows all the profile updates of those you sent the email to).
Then, Friday afternoon, she sent my attorney an email (signed with BD's name, of course)... You're gonna love this: "M***- I am sure you can see how it is clearly unlawful to change my daughters name in any legal or non-legal manner and as such such not be encouraged, but in fact prohibited in every manner by your client. I have been made aware of several instances where D*** is referring to M******* (our daughter) as M******* (or C*****) K****. Please advise her to immediately change all references, registrations, and the like to reflect M*******'s legal name; M******* G*******.This is to include all sports and extracurricular activity registrations. As a reminder, your client should of course be notifying me of all such registrations within 30 days of doing so, and failure to do so is a violation of our parenting time order. Thank you, M****** G*******"
M*** then forwarded it to me, along with: "How do you want me to respond?..." Basically telling me I was right; she can be known by any name she wants, but all legal avenues must have her real name. Um, duh? Oh, and really??? "...a violation of our parenting time order."??!!? What about not paying child support? What about not paying any of the attorney fees? What about not paying your 1/2 of her medical bills? Take me to court... go ahead! I'd love to see the judge bring down the gauntlet on him.
My response to M*** was: "...Her school, her afterschool activities, her sports, and the like are always under "M******* G*******"; always have been, probably always will be. I don't think this warrants any response except, perhaps, that the only existing order regarding this matter only states I cannot change her LEGAL/GIVEN name. I clearly have not done that. -d-"
Then, yesterday morning, I had to send an email to BD about Princess doing basketball. Even though she made "their joint profile" unavailable to the public, as soon as I sent the FYI email, I saw her update, "Some people really are idiots! Christ is the reason for the seaon, thats why its called Christmas. But if giving is the reason, then why not give your daughter her father. You know nothing of giving, only TAKING!"
Stupid Christians are the worst kind... I'm sure you, my readers/friends, know the truth; Jesus was not born in December (I think the current belief is that he was born in the spring). "Christmas" was originally a pagan holiday, celebrating the rebirth of the sun ("yule" or "winter solstice"), and the Christians STOLE it. Regardless, I've said it before and I'll say it again: continually playing the victim will not get you the results you want.
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