If you're newish to this information, or you just need/want a refresher, please read this first.
This past year, Princess' bio & SM have kept their distance; physically & emotionally... and this is good. The last time we saw her bio was November 5th; her last soccer game (ever). He brought her two younger half-sisters, and some birthday presents. As usual, none of the clothing fit (even though I specifically gave sizing when asked).
I had her call him on Santamas, and he told her he had presents for her... but nothing ever came. She wasn't disappointed, as she never really expected them to. Although he never came to her Spring activity (hip hop classes), she freaked about the possibility of him/them coming to her 6th grade grad ceremony. I told her that *she* had to be the one to tell him not to come... which she did. I was so proud of her for standing firm with him on that.
Over the summer, nothing from them (except a couple of partial c.s. payments -- shocker!). In July, I sent an email stating that I signed her up for cheerleading, and I included the link to the website & calendar for that. In September, I got a whiny email that her schedule wasn't on there. Yes, it was; you just have to know how to read a calendar (here's a hint -- in Junior Cheer, "JV" equals 7th grade)... I ignored it.
Oh, and that letter? She wrote it, but I refused to send it. She is so angry... and rightly so. She called him names, & said that she wanted him to leave her alone & go away forever... so much more. I felt that it wouldn't do any good to send it (they'd probably just ignore it, telling themselves that I *made* her write it), but just her writing it was enough for now. She also told me she doesn't want him emailing or calling/texting her, so I haven't given him any of that information, either.
Here's my current dilemma, though. She's about to turn 13y... and I told her a couple years ago that she could have a FB page when she turned 13y... But, she doesn't want anything to do with her bio or his family. So, do I preemptively block as many of them as I can find when I create her page? Or, do I just deny any friend requests that come her way? I'll already have it mostly locked down, anyway... and of course, just like her email & other online accounts, I'll have full access.
As far as the money goes... tax return money was paid in, but never paid out. However, I have gotten some payments. I'm willing to bet that he was threatened with losing his license &/or jail time if he didn't pay; I've gotten some $50 payments & some $100 payments (for a total of $580 in the past year -- remember, it's supposed to be $100/month). His current c.s. is "only" $7764.12 in arrears, but remember; that mistakenly counts the payments made from their taxes, but that I never received, and doesn't count the attorney fees he's NEVER MADE ONE PAYMENT TOWARD.
OH! He never did end up volunteering last year... I guess Princess' teacher had him as one of the "class parents". He was (on paper) to do only email/phone stuff (nothing in-class, for Princess' protection & feeling of safety), but Mr M never ended up using him. This year, I made sure that he can't even have access to her. The school requires you to check in with them before you can do anything. To have access to a child, you must: (a) be on the approved list, and (b) show ID. The only two people on Princess' list, per my instructions, are me & Ace.
Last week, I got an email (signed with HIS name, but we all know SHE wrote it), asking about Princess' upcoming birthday. I sent very specific instructions, sizes, etc (as I have in the past, and they've rarely listened to). Honestly, Princess doesn't want anything from them... Regardless, it'll be interesting to see what, if anything, they end up getting her, and how it gets here (if it fits, it ships!).
So, five years from the abduction, and my Princess is still not okay. I've said it before, & I'll say it again: "It was their own selfishness that got him into this situation... and it will be complete selfLESSness that will get him out." Although, as time goes by, I give less credence to the thought that it'll ever be okay again.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Support Your Local Mom/Friend
Here's something (one of many, believe me) that I don't understand. How can you call yourself a friend, but not act like it? Why are things sometimes made into a competition? Flat out truth -- I am not competing with YOU; I only compete with MYSELF! You should too.
This happened last week: I posted a status about finally getting to sleep in because I didn't have a morning client (originally, I had planned to go to Princess' conferences, so I took Friday morning off... decided Thursday to just go that night before taking Princess to her friend's for a sleepover). My exact status said, "Slept 'til 8a... ahhhhhhh!" Comments ranged from telling me what time other people got up, to a couple that were downright rude.
Two that hit me hard were comments about me not being part of the "real mom club" because I don't get up at 5am like them (actually, quite a few of my friends get up that early & I feel badly for them), and some crack about how they could choose their own hours, but doing so around their kids is frowned upon. WTF!
Why am I being negatively judged because I *CHOSE* to have ONE kid instead of four or five; some with EVERY man they marry or even sleep with (like SOME people I know). Because I went back to school to do something I absolutely love where I'm lucky enough to be able to choose my own hours based upon my family (& that ONE kid) obligations. Where I don't have to be at work at "zero dark thirty" (as my dad used to call it)? Where my husband is no longer wondering which wife he'll come home to, because loving what I do & how I do it makes me happy?
I AM a real mom, as is EVERY mom out there who is doing what she needs to for her family; stay at home, work at home, work away from home, or some combo thereof. As a GOOD friend, you should be supporting your mom friends, not tearing them down because you have a different lifestyle than they do (whether you chose it yourself or not). Life is hard enough; friendship isn't a competition... don't make it out to be one.
This happened last week: I posted a status about finally getting to sleep in because I didn't have a morning client (originally, I had planned to go to Princess' conferences, so I took Friday morning off... decided Thursday to just go that night before taking Princess to her friend's for a sleepover). My exact status said, "Slept 'til 8a... ahhhhhhh!" Comments ranged from telling me what time other people got up, to a couple that were downright rude.
Two that hit me hard were comments about me not being part of the "real mom club" because I don't get up at 5am like them (actually, quite a few of my friends get up that early & I feel badly for them), and some crack about how they could choose their own hours, but doing so around their kids is frowned upon. WTF!
Why am I being negatively judged because I *CHOSE* to have ONE kid instead of four or five; some with EVERY man they marry or even sleep with (like SOME people I know). Because I went back to school to do something I absolutely love where I'm lucky enough to be able to choose my own hours based upon my family (& that ONE kid) obligations. Where I don't have to be at work at "zero dark thirty" (as my dad used to call it)? Where my husband is no longer wondering which wife he'll come home to, because loving what I do & how I do it makes me happy?
I AM a real mom, as is EVERY mom out there who is doing what she needs to for her family; stay at home, work at home, work away from home, or some combo thereof. As a GOOD friend, you should be supporting your mom friends, not tearing them down because you have a different lifestyle than they do (whether you chose it yourself or not). Life is hard enough; friendship isn't a competition... don't make it out to be one.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Educational Update
Progress reports came out Thursday, September 27th:
Social Science -- B
PE -- A- (missed class hadn't been made up yet)
Advance Pre-Algebra -- A+
Culture Through Cooking -- A
Science -- B
Language Arts -- B-
Midterm reports came out with conferences, dated through October 16th:
Social Science -- D
PE -- A
Advance Pre-Algebra -- A
Culture Through Cooking -- A
Science -- B
Language Arts -- B
Um, what? A "D"?!?! Not my daughter... I stood in lines to see all her teachers except Cooking (she has an A, and it was getting late); Social Science was the last one because it was really long. Even her math teacher saw it on my paper and said, "What the heck, M*******?!?!" We were all pretty confused. Got up to her teacher, and he said, "Oh, no. She has a B; I must have put the other girl's grade on her report." Seems there's another girl with her same last name; spelled the same. Thank you for the almost-heart attack, Mr. S! Also, Princess thanks you; she was about to be grounded from life.
Couple of things to note -- Not one teacher told me that she "is very social" (translation -- talks in class too much). That was an issue for a few years in grade school, but seems to be less so in middle school (yay). Almost all her teachers, however, did comment on her test-taking. That seems to be an issue across the board, so I know it's not topic-specific. In grade school, it was simple a matter of needing to slow down. This year, I think it's that, plus not fully comprehending the material. Her science teacher *did* tell me that he makes it VERY difficult to get an A in his class, but I'd still like her to get her barely-B up to a higher percentage...
Oh, and this year, she bought a yearbook; I sent the check for that the same time that I ordered her (tiny, as always) picture packet (I usually only order the bare minimum, so she has a few to give to friends, and she can get the class photo... although, being in middle school, there's no class photo anymore, so now it's all about getting a pic for the yearbook she's purchasing).
I was worried her bio (or his worse half) would do as they've done in the past, and send in a retake form, trying to force her to take a second photo... that would mean her education is interrupted, and I'd have to make yet another phone call to Lifetouch to make sure the yearbook photo would be the one *I* paid for, not the one *he* made her take.
So, this year, I told her she has the right to refuse to have them taken. To back her up, I also sent a letter to the school. It basically said that I didn't want her to be forced to take retakes, and that if there were any issues, they could call me (I was at work). My phone never rang, so when she texted me that she was on the bus, I asked about retakes.
She said, "Nothing happened, thank goodness." So, with her permission, I decided that I will send her bio an extra photo I have from the Portrait Innovations package I got. They now give you two 10" X 13" pics, and I only need one. Hope he appreciates it, and that in the future he either coordinates with me to buy just one package together, or to take what I'm able to give him from the P.I. set (I like them MUCH better than Lifetouch... and they're so much cheaper, too!).
Social Science -- B
PE -- A- (missed class hadn't been made up yet)
Advance Pre-Algebra -- A+
Culture Through Cooking -- A
Science -- B
Language Arts -- B-
Midterm reports came out with conferences, dated through October 16th:
Social Science -- D
PE -- A
Advance Pre-Algebra -- A
Culture Through Cooking -- A
Science -- B
Language Arts -- B
Um, what? A "D"?!?! Not my daughter... I stood in lines to see all her teachers except Cooking (she has an A, and it was getting late); Social Science was the last one because it was really long. Even her math teacher saw it on my paper and said, "What the heck, M*******?!?!" We were all pretty confused. Got up to her teacher, and he said, "Oh, no. She has a B; I must have put the other girl's grade on her report." Seems there's another girl with her same last name; spelled the same. Thank you for the almost-heart attack, Mr. S! Also, Princess thanks you; she was about to be grounded from life.
Couple of things to note -- Not one teacher told me that she "is very social" (translation -- talks in class too much). That was an issue for a few years in grade school, but seems to be less so in middle school (yay). Almost all her teachers, however, did comment on her test-taking. That seems to be an issue across the board, so I know it's not topic-specific. In grade school, it was simple a matter of needing to slow down. This year, I think it's that, plus not fully comprehending the material. Her science teacher *did* tell me that he makes it VERY difficult to get an A in his class, but I'd still like her to get her barely-B up to a higher percentage...
Oh, and this year, she bought a yearbook; I sent the check for that the same time that I ordered her (tiny, as always) picture packet (I usually only order the bare minimum, so she has a few to give to friends, and she can get the class photo... although, being in middle school, there's no class photo anymore, so now it's all about getting a pic for the yearbook she's purchasing).
I was worried her bio (or his worse half) would do as they've done in the past, and send in a retake form, trying to force her to take a second photo... that would mean her education is interrupted, and I'd have to make yet another phone call to Lifetouch to make sure the yearbook photo would be the one *I* paid for, not the one *he* made her take.
So, this year, I told her she has the right to refuse to have them taken. To back her up, I also sent a letter to the school. It basically said that I didn't want her to be forced to take retakes, and that if there were any issues, they could call me (I was at work). My phone never rang, so when she texted me that she was on the bus, I asked about retakes.
She said, "Nothing happened, thank goodness." So, with her permission, I decided that I will send her bio an extra photo I have from the Portrait Innovations package I got. They now give you two 10" X 13" pics, and I only need one. Hope he appreciates it, and that in the future he either coordinates with me to buy just one package together, or to take what I'm able to give him from the P.I. set (I like them MUCH better than Lifetouch... and they're so much cheaper, too!).
Friday, September 28, 2012
Putting Walls Up... Literally
If you haven't been following along via my FB posts & pics, here's the latest on our bathroom. Over the last few weeks, we've made a lot of progress. The up side is, we're saving a ton of money doing a lot of the work ourselves. The down side is, everything takes longer when you do it yourself (as well as when you find crappy repair work from the previous owners).
We decided the damaged decking didn't need replacing. I talked to my older bro (who used to be a general contractor in the area) and he said that if they're 75% or more "good", they don't need to be replaced. Since we were a little concerned that the subfloor wouldn't attach to the damaged wood, Ace decided to scoop out the damage, and fill it back in with some bonding/leveling compound. That, alone, took over a week, because each VERY THIN layer has to dry for six hours before another can be applied.
While he worked on that, we also got the subfloor trimmed out (nothing's attached, yet, though) and all the drywall cut & hung (that we can for now, anyway -- can't cover the "wet wall", or anywhere in the alcove yet). Once the ceiling was drywalled, the room stayed a lot cooler; making it easier for Ace to keep working (doesn't seem to bother me as much as it does him). Keep in mind, Ace and I are both working our real jobs while we're working on the bathroom. One of the days I worked last week, I stopped by Ferguson again. We're leaning toward a tub/shower hardware set we found there, but haven't committed yet. Ace's biggest issue with that is that nothing is made 100% of metal anymore. This set I found is about 50%.
Somewhere in all of this, the tub was delivered. And, by "delivered", I mean that Ace had to meet the semi they sent at HD up the street, which we had told them wouldn't fit when they called to confirm delivery, but they sent anyway. He couldn't fit the boxed tub in the back of our SUV, so he took it out of the box, and inspected for damage. All good, the semi driver helped him load it into the back of the 4Runner.
We got notice from the (non-food) dump up the road that they were reinstating their "free dump" policy for the area, up to 4 truckloads per year. However, for all of our bathroom debris (sitting on a large tarp in our backyard at this point), we'd have to rent a large truck ($19.95 from HD; I think you get it for four hours, but I could be wrong). So, we just sucked it up, and rented a large dumpster, which we had for five days. We also let our neighbors put some things in, because we knew we wouldn't fill it by ourselves (but the next size down was too small).
So, now we're at the stage where we need a plumber. We decided that the best route would be to have him fix the plumbing under the house for the toilet, then get the pipes/etc done for the new tub, as well as see if we need to move vanity plumbing, and do that if necessary. Can't get the plumber here until we decide on hardware. Time for Ace to make the final decision on that...
We decided the damaged decking didn't need replacing. I talked to my older bro (who used to be a general contractor in the area) and he said that if they're 75% or more "good", they don't need to be replaced. Since we were a little concerned that the subfloor wouldn't attach to the damaged wood, Ace decided to scoop out the damage, and fill it back in with some bonding/leveling compound. That, alone, took over a week, because each VERY THIN layer has to dry for six hours before another can be applied.
While he worked on that, we also got the subfloor trimmed out (nothing's attached, yet, though) and all the drywall cut & hung (that we can for now, anyway -- can't cover the "wet wall", or anywhere in the alcove yet). Once the ceiling was drywalled, the room stayed a lot cooler; making it easier for Ace to keep working (doesn't seem to bother me as much as it does him). Keep in mind, Ace and I are both working our real jobs while we're working on the bathroom. One of the days I worked last week, I stopped by Ferguson again. We're leaning toward a tub/shower hardware set we found there, but haven't committed yet. Ace's biggest issue with that is that nothing is made 100% of metal anymore. This set I found is about 50%.
Somewhere in all of this, the tub was delivered. And, by "delivered", I mean that Ace had to meet the semi they sent at HD up the street, which we had told them wouldn't fit when they called to confirm delivery, but they sent anyway. He couldn't fit the boxed tub in the back of our SUV, so he took it out of the box, and inspected for damage. All good, the semi driver helped him load it into the back of the 4Runner.
We got notice from the (non-food) dump up the road that they were reinstating their "free dump" policy for the area, up to 4 truckloads per year. However, for all of our bathroom debris (sitting on a large tarp in our backyard at this point), we'd have to rent a large truck ($19.95 from HD; I think you get it for four hours, but I could be wrong). So, we just sucked it up, and rented a large dumpster, which we had for five days. We also let our neighbors put some things in, because we knew we wouldn't fill it by ourselves (but the next size down was too small).
So, now we're at the stage where we need a plumber. We decided that the best route would be to have him fix the plumbing under the house for the toilet, then get the pipes/etc done for the new tub, as well as see if we need to move vanity plumbing, and do that if necessary. Can't get the plumber here until we decide on hardware. Time for Ace to make the final decision on that...
Thursday, September 27, 2012
WARNING -- Political Post
For the most part, I try to stay out of "discussions" regarding political issues... simply because, for the most part, these "discussions" generally turn into "rantings & name-calling". Quite a few of my friends, some long-term even, have forgotten their manners when it comes to posting their own political opinions/agendas - specifically on Facebook. When I *do* state my opinion, I have been personally attacked... and some people even believe I have certain beliefs/leanings that I don't actually have. Assume much?
All that said, here are just a few of my beliefs (not open for ranting, name-calling, or changing of my opinion):
1. I am Pro- Choice. Contrary to popular thought, this does NOT make me "Pro Abortion". I do not believe in abortion as a birth control method, but stuff happens in life, and sometimes, you just don't want a child because you, or someone else, effed up & made a mistake. To answer someone's question -- If my daughter got pregnant (whether it was by choice, by stupidity, or by force), it is HER decision ALONE to make, but I would fully support her if she chose to get an abortion.
2. I am Pro- state's rights. The Federal Government has their hands in far too many things where they don't belong. The Constitution specifically supports this, and we've gotten too far away from it.
3. I am Pro- medical marijuana legalization. It has been proven, time & again, that marijuana has true medicinal purposes... and not just for glaucoma. It assists with nausea (caused by MANY medical problems, as well as pregnancy, btw) and pain relief (migraines, Fibromyalgia, chronic back pain, and much more), just to name a few. IMO, it should be regulated & distributed under the same laws & requirements of other prescription meds.
4. I am Pro- marriage equality. I don't call it "gay rights" because the issue, to me, is one of being equal, not one of being gay or not. And, no, you can't call it "Civil Union"; that's retarded. That would mean everyone, like me, who didn't get married in a church, by a religious figure (priest, minister, etc) would have to have their Marriage Licenses revoked, and reissued as a "Civil Union License." That is a waste of government (and by that, I mean THE PEOPLE's) money. I don't give a rat's f*ck what your religious beliefs are... YOU don't have the RIGHT to tell EVERYONE how to live their lives. If you don't like it, then don't have one. Marriage, and all the rights & struggles that come with it, should be granted to everyone.
5. I am Pro- Health Rights (specifically, Women's... more specifically, Planned Parenthood; currently being threatened by some people in governmental position of power). Planned Parenthood's government subsidies saved my life, and granted me the ability to have a baby... when *I* wanted to. Again, just because your religious beliefs state that you are against something doesn't mean you get to take away MY right to choose what I need to do for my own health. BCP are expensive, and I think some people forget that not everyone who takes them are using them for birth control. FTR, I take them to control my ovarian cysts (Did you know those can burst & I could die, if I wasn't able to keep them under control with BCP?) While I don't think the federal government should be completely covering the costs of these, I *do* think anyone who needs to take them should have access to them for a reasonable cost. And, while I'm at it, why do the "forces that be" forget that MEN are part of this "sex thing" too? Government subsidies for condoms, BCP & other birth control methods, vasectomies, hysterectomies, etc should exist, on a sliding fee scale... and yes, I think abortion due to rape/incest/mother's life in jeopardy should be counted within this.
6. I am Pro- government assistance programs as they were intended originally -- TO ASSIST; short-term. The whole system needs an overhaul, but on the whole, I am against living off of the system instead of working hard (like SOME people I know). I think there needs to be a dollar amount cap, or a time frame cap (two years, at most!). I don't believe in people sitting on their butts, &/or working under the table, to avoid garnishments. I don't believe in people having more children to continue to stay on the system. And I will NEVER understand those gov't employees who find ways for those who don't really need the system to stay on the system.
This is not, by any means, a complete list, but that's all I can think of at this moment...
One last thing: I am not specifically Pro-Obama at this point (leaning more towards another candidate, actually -- and I don't believe it's "throwing my vote away" either; I vote my conscience. Always have, always will), but I *am* ANTI-Romney; he's a complete idiot, but more importantly, he believes quite the opposite on a lot of what I believe in.
All that said, here are just a few of my beliefs (not open for ranting, name-calling, or changing of my opinion):
1. I am Pro- Choice. Contrary to popular thought, this does NOT make me "Pro Abortion". I do not believe in abortion as a birth control method, but stuff happens in life, and sometimes, you just don't want a child because you, or someone else, effed up & made a mistake. To answer someone's question -- If my daughter got pregnant (whether it was by choice, by stupidity, or by force), it is HER decision ALONE to make, but I would fully support her if she chose to get an abortion.
2. I am Pro- state's rights. The Federal Government has their hands in far too many things where they don't belong. The Constitution specifically supports this, and we've gotten too far away from it.
3. I am Pro- medical marijuana legalization. It has been proven, time & again, that marijuana has true medicinal purposes... and not just for glaucoma. It assists with nausea (caused by MANY medical problems, as well as pregnancy, btw) and pain relief (migraines, Fibromyalgia, chronic back pain, and much more), just to name a few. IMO, it should be regulated & distributed under the same laws & requirements of other prescription meds.
4. I am Pro- marriage equality. I don't call it "gay rights" because the issue, to me, is one of being equal, not one of being gay or not. And, no, you can't call it "Civil Union"; that's retarded. That would mean everyone, like me, who didn't get married in a church, by a religious figure (priest, minister, etc) would have to have their Marriage Licenses revoked, and reissued as a "Civil Union License." That is a waste of government (and by that, I mean THE PEOPLE's) money. I don't give a rat's f*ck what your religious beliefs are... YOU don't have the RIGHT to tell EVERYONE how to live their lives. If you don't like it, then don't have one. Marriage, and all the rights & struggles that come with it, should be granted to everyone.
5. I am Pro- Health Rights (specifically, Women's... more specifically, Planned Parenthood; currently being threatened by some people in governmental position of power). Planned Parenthood's government subsidies saved my life, and granted me the ability to have a baby... when *I* wanted to. Again, just because your religious beliefs state that you are against something doesn't mean you get to take away MY right to choose what I need to do for my own health. BCP are expensive, and I think some people forget that not everyone who takes them are using them for birth control. FTR, I take them to control my ovarian cysts (Did you know those can burst & I could die, if I wasn't able to keep them under control with BCP?) While I don't think the federal government should be completely covering the costs of these, I *do* think anyone who needs to take them should have access to them for a reasonable cost. And, while I'm at it, why do the "forces that be" forget that MEN are part of this "sex thing" too? Government subsidies for condoms, BCP & other birth control methods, vasectomies, hysterectomies, etc should exist, on a sliding fee scale... and yes, I think abortion due to rape/incest/mother's life in jeopardy should be counted within this.
6. I am Pro- government assistance programs as they were intended originally -- TO ASSIST; short-term. The whole system needs an overhaul, but on the whole, I am against living off of the system instead of working hard (like SOME people I know). I think there needs to be a dollar amount cap, or a time frame cap (two years, at most!). I don't believe in people sitting on their butts, &/or working under the table, to avoid garnishments. I don't believe in people having more children to continue to stay on the system. And I will NEVER understand those gov't employees who find ways for those who don't really need the system to stay on the system.
This is not, by any means, a complete list, but that's all I can think of at this moment...
One last thing: I am not specifically Pro-Obama at this point (leaning more towards another candidate, actually -- and I don't believe it's "throwing my vote away" either; I vote my conscience. Always have, always will), but I *am* ANTI-Romney; he's a complete idiot, but more importantly, he believes quite the opposite on a lot of what I believe in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)