New Year's Wishes

As most of you know, I don't make resolutions... I do make goals for my business, but that isn't the same. This year, I've taken a very hard look at myself and others (FaceBook can be great for this) and decide that for the New Year, I have wishes for others --
1. Stop comparing yourself, your kids, your life to others'. Your path is your own. Make your life the best one for you and yours that you can. I have a friend who went through a very rough divorce this year. She commented recently something to the effect of "Your life seems so calm..." It is; now. My family went through our own hell for close to 15 years, but we came out of it stronger, closer, and happier than ever. Friends I've made over the last two or three years didn't see all the pain and anguish we all went through, so the fact that I don't have it now doesn't mean I don't know what it's like. I do. I got through it, though, and so will you.
2. Some have made comments about people being "fake" on FB... Whether they are or not, why do you care? For me, specifically, I don't post lies and my life is pretty good; deal with it, or go away. Don't assume some people only posting the good stuff because they're "being fake"; I'm only posting the good stuff because (a) there isn't much bad stuff and (b) life is negative enough; I don't need to add to it.
3. Stop with the "boys/men..." and "girls/women..." memes, comments, assumptions, etc. It's almost 2016, act like it! Being male or being female is not a reason, nor an excuse, to act certain ways. We are raising our daughter to have opinions of her own, think for herself, assert herself when needed, negotiate when required, and not take shit from ANYONE. An assertive woman is not a "bitch", a man who cries about something is not "a wuss/pussy", a guy who is a cheerleader is not "gay" (being an insult), a girl who likes to play football is not "a tomboy" (oh, how I hate that term). Double-standards are NOT ok. Also, almost EVERY SINGLE THING males can do, so can women, including: fixing cars, building things, cooking/baking, enjoying football, shopping, driving, cleaning, taking care of children, standing up for themselves, calling you out on your bullshit, holding doors open, paying for dates, making reproductive decisions for themselves, and SO MUCH MORE!! Do yourselves a favor, and really think about what you say and how you say it... and try to adjust your thoughts & words to be more equal to both sexes (or, even better, all inclusive to all genders). Repeat after me -- colors have no gender, jobs have no gender, toys have no gender, bathrooms have no gender, clothes have no gender, tools have no gender, makeup has no gender... There is no such thing as women's work or man's work. Feminism is not a bad word, it does not mean man-hater, or that women want to be of higher status than a man... all it means is "The social, political, and economic equality of the sexes." Saying you are not a feminist is saying that you don't believe men & women should be treated/paid the same...
4. Speaking of "all genders" (and to go along with #5 on this list), start educating yourself on gender identity issues. (a) Sex and Gender are two different things. (b) There are more than two genders. (c) If you don't know something, ask... but be respectful of the answers. (d) Learn that sometimes, it's none of your business. (e) One of the biggest ones for me right now -- transgender people just want to use the bathroom to relieve themselves. There's a whole movement right now called "I'll Go With You" in response to "We Just Need To Pee"... it's for trans allies to let it be known that they will assist you with matters in which you don't feel safe doing/going by yourself. The biggest one is using the restroom. Please, please, please, for all you hold dear, understand that transgender individuals DO NOT "pretend" to be a different sex so they can spy, "get off", or rape your children; THEY JUST NEED TO PEE!! And, perhaps you can use those instances to not only educate yourself, but also educate your child(ren).
5. This is most important... Stop criticizing others. I see a lot of criticism coming from people about a multitude of things; everything from how others dress (seriously, "slut-shaming" needs to go!), to how others parent, to women breastfeeding in public, to women having the choice to have an abortion, to what people post on their own FaceBook pages, and a thousand other things. I don't care what diety, if any, you believe in (and, STOP criticizing me and my family for being atheists); IT IS NOT YOUR JOB! Now, I know some of you say things like, "I'm not judging, but..." or "That's god's job..." Yes, you are. We all judge. But, keep it to yourself, because you are making assumptions about someone else based on your beliefs, and how you live or want to live; that is not okay. Try this -- if it doesn't directly affect you in a negative/harmful way, shut up. If my daughter wants to wear leggings as pants, shut up. If that guy on the bus has his pants so low, you can see his undies, shut up. If that gay couple is kissing & holding hands, smile and walk by. If a mom is breastfeeding her child in a restaurant, applaud her! If someone says something on the internet you don't like or agree with, scroll past. You are not the morality police; leave people alone, stop being so negative and start seeing the beauty in others.

Actually, I think going back to the general rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" is a good life rule.